Do you ever get that feeling in your stomach, you know, the one that feels like you ate a rock, that has now grown to a boulder… The one that stops you in your tracks and pulls you down with thoughts of all the horrible things that could happen because you read about it once and so clearly, your family is next? Or the feeling that everything is just spinning (or spiraling as we call it in our home) out of control?
Are you a wife and a mother and maybe even a working parent too? Are you trying you very hardest to do everything to these standards you set for yourself, but yet feel like you are failing at everything, except for keeping your children alive, which well, if you saw above, something tragic must be coming to my family soon because I have read about something horrible that happened to another family….So I am probably not even doing a good enough job at keeping them alive.
Do you feel a horrible guilt trying to enjoy every moment you have with your family, because this moment will never happen again and maybe, just maybe, that tragic thing will really happen and then you will think, “crap! I should have made those moments count.” But also have the guilt that if you don’t take the time to make your home clean or your 1,000 ideas into life, the current moments just won’t be as enjoyable? I mean, really, I am less anxious when my home is clean but I have anxiety about taking that time away from spending time/connecting with my family.
Well, if any of these ramblings remind you at all of yourself, then you are a lot like me. I am Ashley. I live in northern Minnesota, with my incredible husband, beautiful daughter (2), and sweet son (9 months). I have horrible anxiety….and have dealt with my anxiety since I was 16. I have created this blog to openly and candidly share about my own experiences in hopes of giving power to others who are in a similar situation. I have found that speaking about my anxiety gives me the power over it, instead of it over me. I also find that if I find an outlet to share about all the beauty that there is in being truly real, it brings the wonderful things into focus for me.
Come along. Share your story. I promise to keep it real and chaotic, beautiful, and messy.
Just like life.